I know this first hand. I have fought against low self-esteem throughout my life. My father's father left my mother and I when I was 6 months old and I never saw or heard him again. My mother remarried to my father who loved me and I loved him. We still do. But he suffered from self-esteem and took it out of my mother, my sister, and me. We were all called "stupid", "dump" "fools" for most of my teenage years. As a big boy, I endure many days on the playground by being called, "Fat Matt". Contributors are that you have had a similar unfortunate experience. Our brains record it all and our self-esteem suffers from it.
But you have to overcome this cut and develop positive self-esteem and self-esteem or success will always conceal you. Positive self-esteem is what raises us for defeat. It's the confidence we rely on to keep moving forward. Unfortunately, many never actually build or rebuild their self-esteem. Here are some tips I've used that will help you get your build back.
1. It's not a curse … it's a blessing . Use the negative experience you have faced as a fuel to restore your self-esteem. Deep down, these negative experiences can draw you to success if you use them correctly. Release the accusations and remember the time when you were knocked down as powerful. Prove that your doubts are wrong, do not allow them to prove correctly.
2. Search for something . When you are a champion, it produces confidence. The key is to master something, somewhat . Learn to play a golf ball 400 meters. Learn to play Billy Joel songs on the piano. Get to the top by working out. Please call your sales call. Anything that proves that you took the time to focus on it, your talent and therefore the success.
3. Do more of what you fear . Do more of what you fear most … much more. Repetition is the mother of all abilities and more reps that you can take the more you ground the fear and the better in learning. The key is MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF REPS. Once or twice is not enough. You need to take lots of swings in the bat. If you are afraid of speaking, do more talking. If you cannot call cold, make more cold calls. Think of this as my friend Grant Cardone points out in his book THE 10X RULE . Do everything with 10X elements in it.
4. Take advantage of your facility . Put yourself in places and conditions for your facility to shine. If you are able to make a golf ball 400 years, sign up for the club or the industry tournament. You know that when you arrive at the first tee box, you have to hit the ball further than anyone, and others will be surprised. Therefore, your facility will put you in a class for you and people will want to be around you and invite you to stay on the team. When you start a new job on the sales floor, be the one who can land 100 cold calls without blinking an eye. This will leave you in one day from the race and you have to be a champion. Sit on the piano when you have drinks with customers and start playing the Piano Man. Your customers will be impressed and your self-assessment problem will go out of the window. Invite a new date to the gym with them and see how many pull ups you can do and they will also be impressed. Your management must be used as a constant fuel to continue building or rebuilding your self-esteem. Achieving success on something gives you confidence to succeed in other things.
5. Helping someone else . It is sad that so many people who are in a position to help whether it is a coach, employee or even parent, do not take more time to recognize self-esteem in others. Be that person, be the one who helps.
Physical self-esteem is important for your success. For some, the construction or reconstruction process can be done quickly. For others, like me, it takes a long time. But still nothing is worth it.