The current self-esteem
One of the most important questions in personal growth is how does self-esteem develop? So many are left with their children's arrows from the low value they have. More arrows develop when people grow older and experience more pain. Some end up with the view that they only apply if they are good parents, provider, employee, etc. A common thread is that the value of an individual does not exist or exists outside of them.
When your value is outside, what happens when your children grow up or if you lose a child, if you do not have to care for anyone anymore, you change or lose your work, fired or stopped, etc. What happens when life changes and you're not ready for it because you've always decided your value based on some external sources?
Others determine their own values based on how they think others perceive them. Outside value is not only for mercy changes in life but also for mercy about what you think others think of you too. Given the low value you have at first, it is inevitable that you will misinterpret what you think others think about you and contribute to the minimum.
Those who find no value at all or it can come in pieces and pieces, but total experience can lead to one of emptiness, unbearable sadness, depression and hopelessness that makes you feel little or no .
Lack of value is not just an empty space unfortunately. It would be easy to cope with the sense of negative self-worth. That hatred, anger and shame can become prominent. But where did these feelings come from and how did they develop? We are not born with it; We are born full of ourselves, full of life, curiosity and girlfriend to learn. We ourselves have our own values, bursting with life as we were. What happened?
When we brought from children to toddler to the toddlers, all the messages began to pour into a very flexible sponge heap. We were told to stop being who we were naturally. Do not do this and do not. Bad girl; bad boy Many more restrictions were imposed on us but were motivations and explanations. Our curiosity became squelched and many were punished, some seriously.
Usually, we stop learning and growing as our brain became cluttered with all of these messages, the pain of becoming a frequent consequence for normal expression. When we fire, we added other negative experiences to these bad feelings about ourselves. We are so unaware of the sheer volume of negative messages in our subconscious mind. Only a small percentage makes it in our consciousness. And you wonder why you can feel so emotionally surprised?
We need to go a little further back to understand our parents. Regardless of how good your bad or impartial upbringing was, all that parents can say is that they did the best they could with the tools they had and the circumstances they were in. It was the best they could do back them with how little they understood and their own behavior.
We are a generation where personal growth has become much more important. Years ago Many of these terms that are regularly available were not known to most. Parents lived their children in the same way they were up, hopefully with at least some improvements in parenting, but unfortunately not in all cases. Suffice it to say that your parents experience you better or worse in the way they knew how.
Many people are not even aware of how they were affected as a child. They think again and think they have good youth and good parents. But even in that seemingly good condition, many were left with internal messages that understood them without knowledge of self esteem or self-esteem.
Method of Change
The conclusion is that it does not matter what the exact nature is of how we get to our way. The primary focus is to find out what these unconscious or unconscious messages are in our psyche now. How do you look at yourself? What are these messages and how do you change them? What do you care for and how do you do that?
Before we jump into this discussion, a word of warning. Nothing will change if you are not ready to change profound views and court. Old celebrity would you like to be right or want to be happy 100% here. It may take time to adapt to new ideas and beliefs about yourself, but if you reject them directly, you will not change.
This is also not an intellectual process. You use your intelligence to help in the process, but this is a deep emotional, psychological and physiological transition. You only know information in your brain so that you become aware of the tools. You have to do the job, take risks, face fear, be creative and extremely learn how to keep focusing on what you want to accomplish and even entertain yourself. It's a bit like recovering some lost things about how you were like a child.
Objective Self Improvement
Self-awareness and self-esteem is where everyone needs to get started. Your focus is to worry about how the world looks like you have to turn in. How do you really look at you? What are the actual thoughts you think about yourself, especially around others? Are you afraid to tell what you are really? Do you even know what's really?
What fear do you have when communicating with other people? Do you want them to see you in a certain way? Use the answers as evidence of what's missing from you. Are you looking for confirmation, recognition, love, attention, etc.? What kind of rejection does your fear look like to you? You can either make a list of this information or you can just follow and see what thoughts, emotions and physiological responses you have. All three items give you a lot of information.
When you collect this kind of information about yourself, you need to be a neutral watcher about who you are. It is possible that when you look at yourself more, it will lead to greater fear and self-esteem and stop this process in the law. Be a dangerous personality and use these other, only analytical parts of you to collect information as computer does. Put the information in a file in your mind that is separate from your thoughts, feelings and interpretations at this point. You still do not know the value of what you are compiling and you do not know what to do.
Fear of Collision As an Example
When you compile the list of things you see about yourself, you really collect evidence of what you need to work on. This information also gives you some clues about the policy you need to go to start work. For example, let's look at one of the forms of rejection, fear of conflict.
This is a good example because we can unravel it into her components. Fear of conflict is many (most fear). It prevents you from clearly describing what you feel, needs and wants. You think the other person has some kind of value you do not have, because allowing their voice to be more important than yours.
Let's look at clear expression. You have not had the opportunity to learn clear expression in a way that conflict does not exist. First of all, you have the right to express yourself. Anyone who receives this information has the right to do what they want with the information they receive. They also have the right to comment and you have the right to do what you want with the information you receive.
But what are you trying to express? So often we are not really clear what it is that we really want to communicate, there are so many hidden programs. We talk without thinking, automatically. We even listen automatically that creates the basis for what is said without real listening. We need to become clearer about how we hear what we are saying and why we are saying it.
There are many clever little modes in which we try to change (control) people, hide what we really want or feel we can only ask for what we want in a simple way. We disregard how we see our parents interact with each other, how we deal with others and partly for fear.
However, people take up what we all think is a subtle behavior. We all have the ability to perceive when something is turned off in places of body, voice limit, choice of words, etc. This lack of clarity and unconsciousness or subconsciousness promotes what always leads to conflict. We do not trust others because the established patterns do not have clear communication and clear focus.
Motivation for Change
This is self-reliance, because we do not depend enough on us to look for clarity. Indeed, even though knowing what their options are, avoiding learning the chosen ones, the easier it is to avoid the unknown, which is more fearful than what they know and are happy with. They somehow go through life, do not feel good when conflicts occur, even if it happens regularly.
It's a catch-22, as it's just enough time to counter bad times so as not to make the job change. Being correct is the installment. They must be correct that the other person is the problem. Now, how many of you immediately realized that if others were not the problem, I say they are?
It's no problem, there are only solutions found. If you do the comparative play, you will not learn and grow. It's not about comparison, blame, good, bad, indifferent, it's about making you or do not you want to change your circumstances? Focus on yourself to create a better experience.
Exercise yourself to be honest about what you really want to say, why you say it as you do, notice fear how you choose your words to Try to get certain results, as well as real plans behind the words. We have all the moments of communication that could use honest food and reform.
View every conversation you have, even yourself. Are you really as honest as you can be? Can you report what fears are under how you say things and what you choose to say? Can you find yourself to please others or avoid conflict? What exactly are you afraid of? Always ask yourself, always catch a little deeper for more information about yourself.
Remember that this is done without a court order. If you start to feel bad about what you are watching, stop and create this dangerous personality in your mind, believe if you only need a computer that collects information. This is one of the ways you can distract your self-esteem by having fun.
Picture one of these giant old masterframes, complete with bands, hear the sounds of the machines, find the heat that stems from the computers, shutdown the electricity, even touch metal and other surfaces in your mind. You have been surprised at how you use your senses is a powerful way to get out of fear, judgment or reaction.
Create your own scenario to distract you, just make sure you take note of what you are observing with clear focus and intention to want to make a change and, more specifically, deliberately or unknowingly introducing self-value to yourself you!
So you are practicing yourself with greater confidence than before, you will become more aware of what your fears and judgments are. You have also noticed the examples you have about what you are following yourself.
This is not unlike learning on high wires. You need to find a balance so your feelings are not overlooked. As soon as you judge yourself you will lose the balance and fall. As soon as you go into an emotional reaction, it will be the same. Anything that focuses on staying in a state of mind will force you to balance. Trying too hard will do this too.
Your ultimate goal is to walk these wires into the sky without falling. Immediately take your wire to be stopped by soil or a little higher if you do not fall so easily. At this level of education, you must be safe or you will not want to come back on this wire because it hurts too much when you fall. The best advances come with small, logical and safe steps.
Self Improvement Understanding
I would like to take time to discuss the esoteric traits of self-esteem. Sometimes by describing what does not help you to narrow the definition and understanding of what it is. You can then create more specific emphasis on developing your self-esteem. Deep knowledge of challenges gives you power and that leads you to your personal growth.
Your self-assessment is proportional to your self-esteem. If you think you are voluntary or very voluntary, but still struggling with insecurity, you have not yet developed true self-esteem and are therefore not as self-known as you think you are. We all have insecurity, but we do not have to fight them. By becoming fully aware of them, we can learn to deal with them differently and without struggle.
If you think your self-esteem is high or very high, but you're even better or inferior, you've really not seen the full sense of self-esteem and use it to not look deeper on yourself. Self-esteem has no room for comparison with others. Once you have true self-esteem, you know other self-esteem to be equal to your own, but unique to each individual.
Self-esteem does not judge others to be good or bad, just as you do not judge yourself. Self-esteem does not consider possible meanings about who you are different from what you now believe in yourself. Self-esteem is education yourself with an open mind, hungry for knowledge and need for change beyond anything else.
Self-esteem is a quiet strength, knowing, but a willingness to acknowledge when a man is wrong, but always with a view of "& # 39; how can I change differently in the future?" Self-esteem is to ask everything: what others say, what your own opinions are, what you hear, read and see. Self-esteem is not a sense of what you ask, but by using the knowledge you collect to constantly improve yourself. Self-esteem is to hear the opinions of others and then use what you hear to understand the man better, not asking the value of who you are.
Self-esteem is to understand that the world, your existence in it, and even who you must understand yourself to be, is full of obvious importance. As you get more emphasis on you, the view goes out to see what's happening around you. As you become more confident, you get more awareness of all the events around you. What you can initially condemn like selfishness becomes the true ability to help others. Your results take many different directions at the same time giving you the results you're looking for and much more in a positive way you can only start to imagine.
This should help you understand the bug level of what you are chasing. Like anything else, there are many understanding terms and rather than reaching the top and not getting it. Start where you are and go one step at a time to create a foundation that is so strong that it can not be shaken. Remember that the foundation is built one brick at a time. It will take more than a few, more than a dozen, it can take hundreds of bricks to make your base strong enough to defend patience.
Changing your understanding of yourself
Let's keep on working. You have collected information about you. Now, we're going to put them all on the table and watch the different puzzles to see how they fit together and look at how we can make a picture of you, but this time in self-worth instead of fear and reviews.
Every piece of the puzzle you have the button. Every negative quality has positive quality and vice versa. When looking at a puzzle that is one of court, fear or limiting beliefs, there is always a possibility behind it. Actually, it is on the other side. You are now inadequate or without added value because you are watching the side of the puzzle game that has a negative potential.
Totally every quality you have, which you do not like to yourself, has not only the other side, but it is within you now. If you can not see it, it's because you're primarily focused on the negative side. Simply the action to focus on what you do not like starts to work the work to turn over on your own.
Another way to see your jigsaw puzzle is dark against bright or heavy light. With a court and fear that you are dark inside, there is nothing light and there is little air to breathe. On the other hand, the brightness of the light and the new possibilities allow you to move, like a balloon, appear. When you have judgments and fears, you feel heavy, as you have a burden. However, you are at least neutral and the momentum begins to lift you up like a bubble in the water.
When you find yourself in fear, judgment or emotional response, stop the reaction as soon as you can. How easy to do depends on the strength of the emotion. It is easier to stop the train to go 1 mph than it is to stop one that is going 100 mph. Stop the reaction by acknowledging that you have one. Emotional responses are your response to fear of getting hurt.
Ask yourself. If you can ask a person or situation you are responding, it is even better than it is not necessary. Ask if what you thought (the reaction that triggered the reaction) is what it meant. Ask yourself what other possible meaning might be as it has led you to. Do not allow yourself to be correct and justify the injury. If no new meaning comes to you, pause and try again later. You are still too emotional to get an answer. You get an internal "busy" tag.
Reversate the injury you found. The hurt is from your past. Your reaction is now the protective device you created to prevent you from hurting the same way again. If you do not completely believe this, it does not matter, fake it until you do it. Simply redefining what matters to you.
Review the judgment in your head, if it's self-esteem, ask the question why it should be true about you. Use your anger and try to scream, "say," in your head. All the voices that told you this in the past will answer. They are ghosts; Tell yourself that you no longer believe in ghosts. Tell them to stop, use your anger to say no to them.
In some days your mind will be so active with your dark and heavy messages and be correct, it will be as if you are attacking all day, sometimes every minute of the day. This can be tiring and quickly leads to these familiar feelings of hopelessness again. Replace hopelessness in a warning that tells you that you have practiced enough. We are all tired. absolutely every single of us.
Familiarize your efforts with learning a new language. You have practiced the new alphabet, saying some new words, stringing together some simple sentences, maybe even some complex sentences, even starting to get quite fluid. Everyone will be in another level. Your acknowledgment. Recognizing that some days will be easier to learn than others.
Take a break that interferes with your mind, preferably something that feels good and stimulates one of your senses. You are waking up. You slowly take away what has weighed you down and made you feel dark. You are opening yourself, you are on your way to developing your self-esteem. Repeat these instructions as often as you can.