Confidence is inner peace. There is profound faith in yourself; It's a pleasure with who and what you are. It is not a misunderstanding that you are perfect or somehow better than others. There is no false attitude that there is no room for growth or improvement. It's not a "attitude."
Independent people can take criticism with open minds and salt kernels. A few years ago, a colleague told me I would "make more friends at work" if I rejected a presentation that I had already received. I kept her advice with an open mind. She was right; some colleagues could not be introduced as soon as I had actually someone else from the position. He was demoed, and I was asked to do his job. My responsibility was with my employer and I was not paid to make friends in the office. So I did my job. I finally made some friends there, eventually. Independent friends who did not feel threatened with or jealous of my performance.
I get criticism of my writing daily and thank God for it! The way I look at this is: Before I send a book to translate in 19 languages and print all over the world, I want to know if I missed something that comes back and I jump. If I disagree with the comments or corrections, I can choose to fix them or not. But if I have seen them for myself, would I have shown them to others? Was you good enough to tell the emperor that he did not have clothes – back in the locker room when he still had time to solve the problem? Or do you want to cringe and pretend you did not know that the emperor was naked?
Independent people do not have to make others feel better to feel better. I think appeals like Jerry Springer are that they make us feel so much better for the poor fools on stage. But underlying this feeling "but with God's grace" is an average joy or titillation in misfortune and foolishness of others. And I think it's more enjoyable to watch such glasses when we suffer from our own little "crisis of confidence" than when we're happy with ourselves. I had a surgery a few years ago and started watching these shows at noon. I've been told that my recovery might take six weeks, but at the end of the first week I was starting to look forward to a daily dose of dumb men. I rolled my eyes, I sneered, I scored – I cringed. I asked my doctor to let me go back to work by the end of the week. "My brain starts to rot," I said. "You have to let me go." He did. Self-esteem, recovery, my body healed faster.
Independent people do not have to take an attack or defense. Independent people need not be conspicuous or rude to get their way. Most of these people I know are not consumed with constant self-esteem and concern and are there before they can focus more on others and make others feel better. They are often mentors who are happy when their students shine on them. They are not threatened by this; They take a loan where it is and are happy to share it freely. These people do not get defense or fight when things do not go or when someone criticizes or insults them. They know there are better things to come, and those rotten apples do not spoil the barrel.
Confident people can feel hurt like anyone else but because they are their own best friends, they can not crush these people or break their mind with unknown words.
Confidence is attractive; love is self-sufficient. Ever wonder how people in balance, dating relationships often have to strike back probably suitors with a stick? And how are people who are anxious to seek someone by understanding a relationship at home on Friday and Saturday night, wash their clothes or wash their hair? Need and lack of self-confidence scare people away. Correction: Need and lack of self-confidence attracts some people but generally not what kind of people you want to attract. When you do not need any business but your own, you're still open to accepting others' business, you'll have it a long time.
When I was first married, I actually told my husband that if he had gone by car, I threw me in front of a bus to die with him. What pathos! He said he would not do the same for me; After all, someone would have to make funeral arrangements. Omigod, I thought. He does not love me at all! I was crushed by his "cavalier" attitude. I have then assured him that I will also make a wonderful funeral for him if he crossed a bus. I recently asked him, "Why do you love me? Why have you come up with me and been married to me all this year?" His answer was the most romantic, touching, meaningful thing I could imagine. For 18 years, less confidently I probably have divorced. "It's not because you're beautiful or because you're sexy or even because I love you," though he hurried to make sure I was, I was and he did. "It's because that you are not stupid. "
This love lasts.