There are probably as many reasons for divorce and there are individuals divorce. Only the couple themselves can really make a decision as to whether it's really "irretrievably broken."
I would argue that there are three key issues that include most real causes of divorce – "3 A – adultery, abuse and addiction."
Adultery is one of the leading causes of divorce in this country. According to the electronic article "Adultery: Statistics of Cheating Spouses", published by Nest Publications of Eagle, "there are 60-70 percent of adultery victims of women" while "30-40 percent of offender victims are men." In various countries, adultery is illegal. In the United States, extinction is only legally recognized as a prerequisite for divorce in several states. However, adultery is usually one of the biggest reasons cited for divorce. This is not a new behavior, but modern technology, accessible sexual and social meditation seems to promote behavior. There are many couples who have been able to survive adultery and reunited marriage, but this is usually a challenging process and takes a great deal of commitment. If the couple is not focused on restoring credibility and trust, marriage will probably not live as a healthy relationship.
Misuse has so many faces that it's actually a study in itself. Sometimes it will suffice to say that abusive behavior does not go away just because they are exposed to daylight. Abuse, be emotional, physical, sexual or mixed, take counseling and sincere and focused work and commitment to change. It often requires significant counseling and work of the Twelve Step System to gain self-control. And often can not abuse the risk of staying until the abuser himself or herself.
Addiction lead many to become so addicted to behavior or content that they no longer see how to handle it. These drugs – whether physical, such as drugs, alcohol, pornographic or sexual addiction, emotional, such as eating disorders, gambling or shopping or other addiction – interfere with the ability of individuals to set their priorities for marriage and family relations. Everything will be either. And as with abuse, the spouse can not choose to put an end to the loss in the hope that the noise can get sober from his addiction and stay so.
There are powerful 12-step programs available covering all areas of addiction, including pornography and sexual addictions, as well as abuse and gambling. Many psychologists and other mental health professionals suggest that these addictions are only managed and controlled by 12 steps, based on the original Alcoholics Anonymous model. Since there is addiction, the victims of these drugs within the family and healing are best if these victims of addictions seek advice and help as well as the addict himself.
There are ways to address each of these issues if both parties are determined to work in solutions. In the short term, it may seem harder to choose. Often it does not work because the spouses are not specifically committed to building relationships that will survive.