Step 9 of all 12 steps of recovery programs calls for the adequacy of adding those we have wronged through our behavior during use.
Not something that many of us look forward to, but valuable and very very liberating steps and something that is all about recovery is well advised to consider – whether after 12 steps or not.
Makes amends save us from the past. Deliver us from guilt, regret and shame (all feelings that lead to coming back) and force us to look deeply – now and in the future – so we can never again cause such harm.
Give Free to Get
But, despite making detailed changes, you're not likely to make a lot of it. It's quite contradictory but you get only if you give!
You do not respond to yourself, you make changes because it's right to do and only for the one you've been injured. You do not amends to seek forgiveness, which will come or it will not, you do it to heal a hurt.
You May Suffer
You make it known that you may be affected. People may be angry with you, and your words and actions can mean little somebody who is still hurting your actions. You may suffer – it does not matter – you do the best you can, you try to create no further harm, and when done go ahead and feel better.
Few are unchanged after the step 9
And preferably you change your paths. The process is something that not many would regret to repeat, and we try to do better in our future relations. We endeavor to acknowledge when we have done harm and do it right away. We seek understanding and compassion, and try to work with kindness. We are not always, of course, still human and weak, but not many can go through step 9 and have not learned a precious lesson; and few are not changed for the better with experience.
Step 9 is difficult, you will suffer when you walk in it and you will get what is given, not what you want. You do it only for them, to do things right, but still very, you get so much.
Very good, it is well worth it; Your recovery is worth it.