Who has not experienced this wonderful, warm, sweet feeling in your heart when you look at your child or someone you love, asleep, felt proud in your chest when you testify to her or succeed or that unmanageable motive to smile as you grab each other's eyes over crowded rooms! Until we love or become parents, we have no idea that we can love another person in this way. It is truly a miracle. Novels and religions have demanded, from time to time, that such unconditional love is the most powerful power there. And most of us agree a lot.
Why have we created a community where more and more of our children believe that adults do not care what they say or do? (27% last survey), a community where unconditional love has little or nothing to do with how we work? A world where, according to recent research, 97% of young people are afraid to tell their parents what they think or do?
Why do we not use love as powerful values and tools that we believe to be? Is it because we do not fully believe that it is powerful, – or perhaps because we do not know how to use it in everyday life?
Love has traditionally been regarded as sentimental, "mushy" and abstract, not something that relates to feasibility, scientific facts or how we handle "reality." Using feelings of love as a tool for dealing with everyday life is, for most people, an abstract concept. Until recently, it was certainly not thought to be practical – or even supported by science! Yet, we are not only seeing scientists studying love and proving their power, but they are in fact developing ways to give a sense of love practical application in everyday life! As you are reading this, research research is about communicating emotions and feelings about love and how we can use feelings of love to improve our health and our lives. From major universities such as Harvard, Stanford and Duke in the United States, Cambridge, London and Southampton University in England, these studies have have been running for many years and have published some significant results. Personally, I was fortunate enough to come across some of them as early as 1990 and have had a good opportunity to use and prove the results of my work as a coach, consultant and consultant. The results are impressive, at least, and as acknowledged author Joseph Chilton Pearce has said, they show "a harmony context in the midst of a huge asynchronous system".
Many studies, especially those made or in conjunction with HeartMath in California, (IHM), use simple methods designed to help people change how they feel to determine how emotional states affect on health. Their findings have shown that our mental and emotional responses directly affect our health. When feelings of anger and frustration are found, there is a clear deterioration of the immune system, which reflects up to 6 hours after anger and increased heart rate (increased risk of heart disease) and speeding of aging. However, when emotions of love, caring and gratitude are present, there is a constant significant improvement in the immune system, an increase in DHEA (anti-aging hormone) and heart rate equilibrium. These studies also show that our feelings and feelings directly affect our ability to think clearly. The most popular books like Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman have cast light on this topic, citing research that has been linked for decades. The term emotional intelligence or EI – emotional and social skills that includes what was previously referred to as a character – has for some time been rumors among teachers and careers, as extensive research findings believe that EI is much more important for the future success of a child than IQ. With all of this, it has become clear that human emotions are significantly stronger than human linear and logical thinking and that our ancestors were wrong. Our hearts rule our heads!
Studies show that the heart is not just a blood vessel muscle, nor is it the place where we find things; The heart itself has its own intelligence system. This intelligence system tells their hearts when to strike and send messages to the brain and back to the heart. It is essential to determine our mental and emotional response (which then affects our health), and governs, among other things, the neo cortex (outer layer of the brain) responsible for organ function, higher mental activity and perception. The heart is electric 60 times stronger than the brain and all the feelings we believe in our hearts, the feeling of unconditional love is more powerful than any other. All of this is now scientifically proven. Love of love and heart is now a fact – something we can teach our children, as a matter of fact. The question of believing in it is no longer relevant.
However, the question of how? How do we use this power of unconventional love to deal with everyday life? And how do we teach our children to do the same? How do we use love to counter the stress we all experience daily? How do we change the sense of love when we are in the midst of traffic jam and we should pick up the children – ten minutes ago? Or when we are in a fierce meeting and we are constantly interrupted only to get rid of time before we land out? Or when the sink in the kitchen flows and the phone rings and one child hits the other on the head, all at the same time? In the words of one parent; "How can I be all lovey dovey when all I want to do is scream?"
The good news is that & # 39; lovey dovey & # 39; is not where it is. Being in a sense of love without emotion or expectation is! When we can be in a calm love, without any understanding, our heart sends a message to the brain that allows two – heart and brain – to be synchronized. This allows the entire body, including the brain, to function in the most effective way. Therefore, we are much more likely to respond to creative solutions and operate according to our highest potential. In other words, we are more likely to handle the sink, phone and fight the children in a safe, controlled manner that we feel well afterwards.
Changing a sense of resentment with emotional love is of course a challenge. Being able to do it for a moment of turmoil requires a certain method or skill! One very effective method is & # 39; at the moment & # 39; the skills I have used for many years, both in my own life and with many clients I have worked with. It takes quite a few seconds for a minute to do and can make a difference from the way the situation is handled – and how everyone slowed down later. It's a simple 5-step process;
Step 1; Recognizing that you feel angry, stressed or upset. Admit yourself how you feel. Give a sense of a word or description. If you can, write it down. If not, just talk to yourself.
Step 2; Be aware of the body and try to free some of the excitement you feel. You can do this by pinching and releasing your knees once or twice, shaking out your hands (like shaking off water), by silent (or if you're single singer) screaming or blowing just out through your mouth.
Step 3; Take all your physical attention to the chest and the area around your heart. Consciously slow your breath and try to prolong the exhalation.
Step 4; Think about something that gives you a feeling of gratitude or lets you smile, like a beautiful twilight or a special place you've experienced. Find how it feels in your body, your chest.
Step 5; Enjoy the feeling. Breathe in it. Keep that feeling, go back to stress or issues that made you excited and ask yourself what better way you could view or handle the situation. Listen to what insight or thought you get. Write down your insights and do it if applicable.
Notice how you feel. Do you have more clarity in thinking? Is your answer more consistent with how you want it to be? Do you think you're more consistent?
This process is a love deed, that's how love is. When the heart and brain synchronize, – as they can only endure the emotional state of love or gratitude – can clarity and wisdom flow. Love can therefore be applied in everyday life, almost and in all circumstances. Indeed, this process can help us use love as powerful power and tools that we now know to be.
While this technique can take a few minutes for the first time, you will find that by practicing (2 or 3 times a day) you will soon be able to do it without risking it. Sometimes, you will definitely have to pay attention to your chest and heart, and you will find a change. Personally, I have used it with hundreds of families and children, and I can guarantee it will work – as long as you do it! It is similar to the technology used by the Institute of HeartMath in many research trials (they call it Freeze Frame). Similar methods have been developed by others and you will find the same concept within many ancient religious theories, but until this decade there were little scientific evidence to bring any of them.
Science or no science, in the 30 years I've worked with both adults and children from numerous cultures, I've never come across devices that deliver such effective emotional intelligence & # 39; on board, bridges between parents and children; colleges and peers; affiliates and spouses; and it tends to reverse the scary statistics that we hear too often. When we discover each, simply by using feelings of love and gratitude that we can all, we can see our lives in very great potential. It is one of the most possible possible experiences. Most importantly, it gives us hope, future and young. In the words of one young (and recently sponsored) teen; "Love rules!"