Stress Management: Have To Vs. Get to

Join this category "Look at your language."

The language we use when we try to change something simply puzzles me. We say things like I can not – that's not fair – I can never do that – and so on. And we wonder why we are frustrated and do not feel so well.

One of the limited things we say to ourselves is "I have to." Our honesty hears i need to be able to automatically rebel.

Sometimes it's a deduction from childhood.

A much more useful way to talk to ourselves is to change "I have to" into "I can."

You could say that this is just a semantic technique. I would answer by saying that it is almost all meaningful technology.

Therefore – "I have to" usually lead to low incentives, prevention and compulsion. On the other hand, "I can" often leads to motivation, excitement and opportunity.

So we have to do what I need to do until I find out.

I need to take out the trash.
I have to promote and serve my family.

I have to go up in the morning.
I spend another day over the earth and see what I can do about it.

I have to go to work.
I'm going to do something I love and care for my family.

I have to go to the class.
I need privilege to get education.

I have to pick up my kids from workouts.
I spend time with my children. In the car, there are absent audiences where we do not have the pressure to just starve at each other. Perhaps we will be able to speak.

I have to complete this task for the office.
I get to promote what I believe in.

I have to go to the gym.
I take care of my body and maybe even fun.

I have to finish this column and get it on time.
I have had privilege to help (hopefully) more people.

These are just a few examples. Simply fill in the blanks with them from your own life that will be helpful to you.

I invite you to practice watching your language next week. I think you'll be surprised at how often you use the phrase "I have to."

Must make it your choice.


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