Does life look like a racetrack on highways and in your terror are your breasts broken? Do you feel like you're in a hurry, even when you're not hurrying to go somewhere? Do you feel like all the items in your list are dancing in your head and you do not seem to focus on any of them? Do you run like a chicken without a head all day and feel like you'll never "catch"? Have you forgotten how to relax?
You are not alone.
Many of my interns came to me, all abnormal and stressed, with anxiety they will never get it all done or do it in "right" way. They wanted to learn how to control their stress and create a balance in their lives, but they simply did not know how to relax. You have been surprised at how many draw a complete blanket, when I ask them what they do for fun or what's relaxing. It is so sad that they have become so unrelated to themselves. The customer once told me that even when she was in the spa she could not quite relax because she was already thinking about what she had to do after the spa.
Addicted to Speed
With so much to do, and so little time, how are you dealing?
Many people told me that they tried to get more efficient so that they could squeeze into more tasks a day. Some people say I'm proud that they thrive on stress according to deadlines. Can you connect to this?
What you can not realize is that you have been running adrenaline. When we are under stress (either physical or emotional), it calls for the battle reaction in our body, which is then rinsed with adrenaline to help us cope with the "crisis" by the hand. Adrenaline is like caffeine that pumps us with increased energy and alertness. It is called adrenaline rush because it is highly addictive. You find so much more productive and above all. However, like how caffeine affects our bodies, when the adrenaline rush is over, you have become a "crash" after that.
Some people try to be in a rush, so they would not experience the "crash". The problem is, when you drive on adrenaline, your body is full of cortisol with stress hormone. Studies have repeatedly linked to chronic stress and cortisol at increased risk of heart disease, hypertension, weight gain, sleep disturbances, etc. In other words, irregular chronic stress can cause harm to your health.
Haste Gerir Waste
It is a Chinese saying that resembles "Haste makes waste". The fastest way is not necessarily the best way to get where you want to go. Sometimes, when you try to rush somewhere, you do not end up coming at all.
When people asked me how to reduce stress quickly, I tell them to take a deep breath and slow down. Sounds very interactive, but the quickest way to restore inner peace is to slow down. Slow way down.
Here are some ideas to help you practice what I call Tao on the Unhurried Way.
1. Watch Your Respiration
Studies show that when you focus on all your attention at once, slowing your heart rate and your blood pressure is lower too. The easiest way to accomplish this is to monitor your breathing. We tend to hold our breath or breathe little when we are stressed. When you feel exciting or hold your breath, take a few deep breaths. Then breathe normally for a minute or two, but concentrate your attention completely on breathing in and out. Your mind would probably try to interfere with all sorts of ideas and thoughts. When you notice thinking, just observe it, without judging it and omitting it. Go back to watching your breathing.
This is the basis of relaxation techniques and initial meditation. Sounds simple, but it's not easy to do. We are so used to running and making content all the time that most people have forgotten why we are called men "to be", not human "to do". If you are struggling to concentrate at the start, do not worry. Start with 1-3 minutes and work up to 30 minutes if you can.
2. Practice Mindfulness
A few years ago a friend introduced me the book of Jón Kabat-Zinn and Thich Nhat Hanh about Mindfulness Meditation and I fell in love with his work. Mindfulness is considered the heart of Buddhist meditation. According to Jón Kabat-Zinn, thought is instant-to-moment, nonjudgmental, awareness. It's a tool to bridge the gap between doing and being and coming back to here and now.
Our mind is often an automatic pilot, and we are not fully "awake" at the moment. You could be physical here, but your mind is completely somewhere else. Without thought, we are not fully present in our own lives and in our relationships with others.
In order to demonstrate thought, Jón Kabat-Zinn asked the participants' focus on how they eat raisins. Most people eat them by hand. I'm sure you do it too. However, he asked participants to eat one raisin, and really experience all the taste and texture of raisin. I tried it, and it opened my eyes. Now that I need a reminder of mindfulness I have taken a rose, or a very little little piece of dark chocolate and eat it as slowly as possible.
You can practice meditation meditation anytime, anywhere, in all you do. Whether you are eating, reading, washing dishes, walking the dog or the pump in the gym, try to focus on 100% of your attention on what you are doing. Then, all you do would be meditation thought. Needless to say, if your goal is relaxation and inner peace, then multi-tasking is not the way to go.
3. Stop Speed-Eating
Even if you are not interested in exercising thinking, you should slow down really when you eat. Eating on the run causes anxiety and stress that interferes with digestion. Studies show that when people eat fast, they tend to eat. That's because when you eat fast, your brain does not have enough time to sign up for you to be full and you should stop eating. As a result of stress (remember that cortisol promotes weight gain) and overestimating, you end up gaining weight.
A recent WebMD article lists a list of speeds as drinking water (No. 2 in the list). Another study showed that when you sit down to eat a snack, you're less tempted to eat another snack later. It feels like when we are "eating on the go," our brain often does not list how much we are. Another reason to practice "mind eating", instead of "fast eating".
So, try to sit down and savor your food. If you do not have time to sit down and relax every meal, at least take a conscious effort to eat one meal in peace every day. Remove the phone, the TV, the computer, and your BlackBerry. Be perfect and eat in peace.
4. Allow ample time
Our plan, which is always raising life, we often assess how much time each task takes or overestimate how much we can do at the time we have . That's why you're always running late and stressed out. When you organize your commands, try allowing 1.5 times the original estimated time. Also allow sufficient travel time between the ships. So if you hit the traffic, you will not go crazy.
What about transition between work and home? How often do you run home and, without pause, jump straight to your "other job" at home? It's important to allow you enough time and space to make a transition. Maybe you can go for a walk, go to a café or bookstore or go to the gym before going home. I know someone who would drive around the block or sit in the car on my own drive for a few minutes until he is ready to go back to the other family. Believe me, you'll feel much calmer when you walk in the door.
5. Clear the way to calm
In order to slow down and have enough time, you need to clear the world and your plan. Organized homes give you a sense of tranquility and provide safe access to you to relax and reload. On the other hand, to cut down the task on your plan, you need to say no and set good goals.
Take an honest look at the plan and your commitments. How many really enjoy it? How many of them can you do with others? Take more commitments because you want, or because you think you should? Or could you just take them because you do not know how to say no? Protect your time as it is the most valuable asset you have. Since we all have 24 hours a day, when you say yes to something, you say no to anything else. So choose carefully. What would you rather do?
6. Take time
Last but not least, take time. Most people realize that they are outline and aim towards breastfeeding. The truth is, you could not realize it unless you can lean enough to see your reality. Some clients came to the practice of our training meetings, after reviewing their timetables, values and priorities. Some people told me that all they did was all in relation to their responsibilities at work and at home, and they have not done anything anything alone. They almost forgot what they used to do just for fun.
If you can contact this, it's time for Continuous Self-Defense Make a conscious choice to set self-defense as a priority. After all, if you do not grow yourself, you will not have more to give.
Schedule "Me Time" daily or at least weekly. Do something good for you every day. It might be something small, like buying some fresh flowers, or spending half an hour reading, or taking a bubble bath. Or could it be something big, like a spa day or girls night out. Do what you please. You deserve it.
Take the time and take what you like. Enjoy every moment. Be perfectly present. Then you will be on your way to true peace and tranquility.
Copyright 2007 Hueina Su, MS, BSN, CEC