I sit with Bryan on a 5-day internal binding agent. Bryan is talking one after another and I can not follow him at all. I can not connect with him. My loneliness in sitting with him is giving me important information – that he is in his head, in his pain, which protects his feelings and responsibility for his feelings.
"Bryan, would you be willing to take a deep breath and focus on your heart?"
Bryan begins to discuss with me, asking irrelevant questions, deflecting, trying to pull me into his system to avoid.
"I wonder what you are avoiding feeling?" I kindly ask him.
"I do not know." He looks forward to me waiting for me to tell him what he's avoiding.
"What do you think this minute?"
"I do not know."
"Bryan, I seem to resist your God – which is against you is more important than loving yourself and others."
I see a light flicker in his eyes and a little smile comes to him. He knows exactly what I mean by this.
"Yes," he says. "I do not want to invade."
I feel deeply compassion for this young man. His resistance tells me the volume. It tells me that he has a very native parent – who turns out to be his mother – and that he had to learn to avoid her tentacles in many ways. He was smart and shaped, he learned to be in his head and talk as a way to preserve himself from being controlled by someone.
The problem is that his talk pushes people away and now Bryan is very lonely. What started as a brilliant regression system has now become a prison. His intimidation of invasion leads him to isolate, which makes wonderful, finish and his little little little boy lonely. When he is around people, as in intensity, he is difficult to be open because of the same fear.
Bryan needs to develop a loving adult who can protect him from invasion on healthy roads, such as saying yes when he means yes and no when he denies no. He needs a loving adult who can fix his feelings and let him know when someone is trying to be invaded instead of working as everyone tries to control him and close everyone out.
"Bryan, my suggestion to you is to continue to do exactly what you are doing, but now do it consciously. Stand as much as hard as you can." Available. "
Fortunately, Bryan did not resist being aware of his resistance. He discovered that his resistance was ubiquitous and made him very tired.
" Bryan, when someone is invasive and tries to control you, are they loving or unloving? "
" I find it unloving. "
" How does it feel in your heart when someone wants to suck your life or control you? "
" It seems terrible .
"Yes, that's exactly how it feels. And this feeling in the heart is to let you know that someone is unloving. Give your opposition to another enemy. If you listened to your higher self and had a loving action, you would feel safe from invasion without having to go into the head or shut down and pull. "
Many others in focus defined by Bryan. Carl realized that he became wretched and typical when he found other unloving behaviors. Susan managed to be angry and sentenced when her fear of rejection became active. Allen and Josh realized that they also used to go into their heads and speak as a way to prevent painful summed up feelings of those who acted actively when others were unloving or were afraid to reject.
All of us have learned to prevent our core painful feelings with our various protections, and this is avoiding what now causes our suffering.