Self Defense and Addiction Recovery – Name of the Game

In my opinion self-esteem is the most important thing we have, as human beings. We can not buy it anywhere, no one else can give it to us, and without it, our lives will be much harder. If you are dealing with any addictive behavior such as alcohol consumption or alcohol abuse, alcoholism, smoking, gambling, drugs, foreclosure or relationship abuse, being aware of your self-esteem can make a big difference to the quality of your recovery from this behavior .

In fact, I often call self-esteem the "name of the game" because it is such an integral and important part of living an emotionally healthy life. When we understand its importance and learn how to develop it, we never have to be without self-esteem again.

Unfortunately, many people never think of their own respect – they do not think if they want it or want it, or need more of it or what they can do to accomplish it.

I think it's worth taking time to explore what it means to have healthy self-esteem and what we can do to improve and enhance self-esteem we already have.

Most of us are aware that we want to treat with the respect of others. You may find yourself being upset, angry or hurt when someone acts respectfully to you because it feels like this person is not good enough to treat you well.

Self Defense: What is it exactly?

Self-esteem works in the same way as others respect. When you evaluate yourself well to treat yourself well, you work independently. If you choose healthy ways, such as having clear and accusating goals, say "no" when you need to take care of your physical, emotional and mental needs, and put your own important needs ahead of the needs of others when necessary, then you are practicing your self-esteem.

And you will find that others take your clues as to how to connect with you. For example, when people hear you speaking in yourself in a derogatory manner and setting you down, they will probably think less of you. However, if they see you to evaluate yourself and live your life in such a way, they will likely rate you more as well.

Like Dr. Phil reminds us: "We teach other people how to treat us."


How often you hurt yourself, your roots are in a message you received about yourself during childhood. The methods that parents, caregivers, siblings, teachers, and even your friends had in mind, led you to believe that you were or were not worthy, valuable or cherished. And you've probably bought these same opinions about yourself into your adult relationships, how you hurt yourself now.

But you do not have to keep believing something about yourself that's not true!

Of course, you are precious and unique and special – you always were and it is true to all of us. When you decide to promote yourself by choosing to believe the truth about who you are rather than what anyone else may think about you, you are on your way to self respect.

Self-Defense and Harmful Effects

Addiction can cause destruction of our own respect.

If you're catching some addictive behavior, you know what I mean. At some point you are aware that every time you forget this particular behavior, you feel bad about yourself. You know you do not really want to do what you are doing and that you would feel better about you if you could stop.

For many with addictive behaviors, little self-esteem has become a part of life – you can not even be aware of how different life might be for you if you could change how you behave and how you feel about yourself. Life is so much better when we have our own respect!


Here you can easily see how well you are in terms of your self-esteem. Ask yourself this question and will be willing to look honestly at your answers:

"What do I have to do, or what do I NOT need to do to view me in the mirror and be ok with what I see?"

Every time you ask yourself this question, listen to your true answer and basically baseline your behavior on what you've heard. If you do this on a regular basis, you must build your self-esteem. It is the name of the game and it will be the basis of all your communication, whether you are aware of it or not.

This can be a hard change for you to do however. If you're used to other people's pleasure, for example, your challenge may be to learn how to put yourself first without being guilty or "selfish". But if you continue to put others first and feel little about yourself to do it, then your self-esteem will suffer.

So is the point of choice – what's more important to you: Having other people like you or loving you?

Every time you decide to resemble any potential negative consequences from others, you get a little more of your self-esteem.

Otherwise, it might be useful

Learning how to treat you more respect will change your life. You will experience a lot of change in how you see your life as well as in the world. Your relationships with other people become healthy, as you begin to treat you healthier. While life is always "perfect", living with impartial independence is the most consistent way to live a rich and fulfilling life.

If you have difficulty believing in yourself and treating your self respect, you may want to talk to some of your trusted friends or get a trained physiotherapist for assistance. This can help you investigate what's holding you back from giving up your self-esteem.

Remember that everything starts with you – what do you have to do, or what do you do, not be able to look at yourself and feel comfortable with who you are?

That's the name of the game!


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